How often do parents get parenting advice from childless peers that know everything about parenting? I'm not trying to start something here but I think I need to point out that nobody knows more, cares more or is willing to give up more for a child than their parents. I get tired of people telling me how I should be doing things... When to stop nursing, what my kids should and shouldn't eat, what their sleeping habits should be, etc.
1. Having younger siblings, nieces and nephews, friends with kids or pets isn't the same thing.
I know a lot of people think that if they are exposed to tiny humans before becoming a parent they will know how to do it all (I shamefully admit that I use to be one of them). NOT TRUE! Sure, you pick up a few tricks of the trade but I've been a mom for three years now and I'm still no expert! As a friend, sibling or aunt/uncle, you aren't really responsible for anything for longer than a couple of hours here and there. You don't sit up at night worrying about every little thing. Also, pets aren't the same as kids: you can't put your baby in a kennel or on a run outside while you run to the store, you can't leave a bowl of milk or food in their crib and sleep all night, and the puppy stage lasts seconds compared to the newborn stage of a baby.
2. Please leave discipline up to the parents.
Sometimes you are around people with children and you disapprove of the form of discipline used (or even lack of discipline) but it really isn't your place. Telling someone how to raise their children rarely goes over well. Unless you have been given previous consent, don't try to discipline somebody elses child. They may not say anything to you about it but it is really irritating to watch someone else try to do your job. There may be a reason they aren't disciplining their child right there... maybe they are on a reward system at home or maybe they don't think the action deserves the same discipline you do.
3. Don't feed my child without permission.
There are so many allergies and food issues these days! I have to monitor everything my girls eat to make sure they are getting enough fiber and very few starches. Some kids have nut allergies, gluten allergies or even fruit allergies. Not to mention a lot of moms try to limit sugars. It's always best to ask a parent before giving their child something to eat or drink.
4. Please don't question my parenting or tease me in front of my kids.
I get it, you may not agree with every decision I make for my kids. You may think I'm a mean mom for not letting my kids have tons of sugar an hour before suppertime but please don't make fun of me... especially in front of my children. Saying things like, "What a fuddy duddy." or, "Mean mommy." teaches my children to disrespect me and then they will be the ones getting in trouble.
5. We take pride in our job as parents.
When someone gives me advice like, "You should let her cry it out." or "Put her down or she will never learn to walk." what I hear is, "You are an awful mom and you're doing it all wrong." It's bad enough to hear that from grandparents and peers with kids but to hear it from somebody that doesn't know what it's like to be a parent is truly hurtful.
I know there are lots of people that love my children dearly and love to spoil them and love on them. I get it, there are lots of kids that I have felt that way for too! I just think sometimes we forget that the parents usually know their children better than anybody else and therefore know what is best for them. I know that not everyone is going to agree with every parenting style but parents deserve respect. Respect a parent's wishes and decisions.
Now, if you see my child running toward the street or you see me not buckling my child into their proper car seat, Please say something! Help keep my kids safe if they are in danger!
No comments:
Post a Comment