I almost had a baby in the car!

Hello friends, It's been so long since I've written a post and I feel like I have a lot to share! I've been absent for the better part of a year because we were surprised with the pregnancy of our son, started homeschooling and nearly had the baby in the car! Now that I feel like we've adjusted to life with three kids I thought I'd post an update and get back to writing!
Here is the low down on the ten minute delivery (and what was almost Interstate delivery)... I had been having contractions between 20-30 min apart on Monday night, Tuesday morning I had an appointment at 10 and my contractions were about 20 min apart. My doctor felt like I was in early labor and did a membrane sweep at 10:00. He said I was at 3.5 cm I went home and got some things together and took a bath. My contractions got stronger and closer together really fast and I told Chris and Ann (our fabulous doula) to head on to the house around 11:30-12:00 They both got to the house at around 12:30 and we headed to the hospital. I had several contractions during the short drive to the hospital and the whole time I was thinking, "I'm probably only at 6-7 cm, I don't think I can handle the natural birth I've wanted." We checked in at the ER at 12:59, my water broke in the ER bathroom where my husband and a nurse had to coax me to a bed because after my water broke, my whole body and every ounce of willpower went into NOT PUSHING. Once they got me into a bed they checked me and I was 9cm! As soon as they had checked me they whisked me down the hall in a hurry and people joined us the whole way to the delivery room. I was surrounded by a flurry of amazing nurses, my amazing husband and our fabulous doula. The ER Doctor came rushing in, checked me and told me I could push if I felt like it, I felt like it, and Wesley was born at 1:09 I didn't even have an ID bracelet, IV or monitors on! It was FAST! The nurses were asking my name as they were handing me my baby! We had about two hours of skin to skin before the nursery nurse came in to check weight and give him a bath. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better outcome or experience!

His sisters were OVER THE MOON when they met him! They have been such amazing big sisters and my love for them grows daily!

There is NOTHING more precious to a mother than her sleeping baby...










Except maybe when they are awake <3

Feeling inadequate?

Feeling inadequate as a mother? You are not alone! 

I don't know how many times I've heard fellow moms (or myself) utter words like, "I'm just not cut out for this." or "I'm not a very good mom." The truth is, we are all just figuring it out as we go, none of us has all the answers. We are all going to make mistakes but you want to know something? Our kids love us anyway! 

A few weeks ago we had a really hard day, my youngest had an OT appointment and her regular therapist was sick so we had a different girl... Not always easy for people on the sensory spectrum. Then we had a two hour Walmart trip from Hell (no other way to describe it) where we made 4 trips to the bathroom and the youngest ended up with a busted lip when she and her big sister were racing to the bathroom and got tangled up. Well, that was it for her and she went into a sensory meltdown right there in Walmart! People stared, I nearly cried and walked out without my groceries but I had come too far to turn back! Then the floor waxing machine passed by us and little one lost it all over again because she was already on sensory overload and even quiet noises hurt her ears when she is overloaded. People stared and even gave me dirty looks because she was screaming, I grabbed the last couple of things I needed and got out of there as fast as I could!

When we got home a bird somehow managed to find its way inside! I finally managed to get it back outside after much wailing and gnashing of teeth and we didn't do much the rest of the day. 

My husband came home that night and offered to take us out to eat before Church and I was so thankful I didn't have to cook. I told him what an awful day it had been and he went to go check on the kids (who were SUPPOSE to be cleaning their room), he met our oldest in the hall and she says, "Dad, today was AMAZING! There was a bird in the house, it was AWESOME!!"

Here I was feeling like a failure and that the kids surely had to hate me after the day we had and all they remembered was that dang bird in the house and how "awesome" it was! Perspective dears, it's all about perspective.

There are so many mom blogs, Pinterest pins and memes that tell us to savor every moment and enjoy every second of parenthood and a lot of times it makes us feel like we must be doing something wrong because we don't LOVE every second. Sometimes I want to lock myself in a closet because the kids won't stop screaming and climbing all over me... or there is a bird loose in my house. It's never a dull moment around here and some days are harder than others. The main thing is that I love my kids and they know it. 

I've been a full time working mom, a part time working mom and now I'm a full time stay at home mom and they each present their own unique challenges. The thing is, we all have guilt that we aren't doing enough. When I worked full time I always felt like I was missing so much, working part time I still felt like I was away a lot but I also had the guilt of having cut our income just so I could spend more time with my baby. Now as a stay at home mom, I don't contribute financially and every second of every day is filled up with memory making and learning activities, therapy appointments, rainbow school... You get the idea, we are always on the go and it can be exhausting and by the end of the day I'm spent and just want to lock myself up in my room with a pint of Ben and Jerry's. 

Motherhood can be isolating in some ways too, even as a stay at home mom. Play dates (which are few and far between) are about keeping up with multiple kids at a park somewhere and is never a break for us moms to sit and chat, we're too busy making sure our kids aren't climbing up the slide, pushing a stranger's kid off the monkey bars, eating dirt or running away to pet a dog across the park. Our last play date consisted of me and my youngest sitting in a corner while I calmed another sensory meltdown and she chewed on my sweatshirt until she felt better (and my shirt was soaked).  I can't remember the last lunch date I had that didn't involve fries and a playground. I have a couple of mom friends that I get to chat with on the phone now and then but they are just as busy as I am most of the time and half of our conversation time involves at least one of us breaking up fights, taking someone potty or changing diapers while we try to pay attention to what our friend is saying.

It's not always easy, it's not always fun, it's not always beautiful. This mom gig is a tough job! It's tough to be a working mom and miss your kids all day, only to come home to chores and cooking to do. It's hard being a stay at home mom too, having kids climbing all over you, hearing, "mom" 3,000 before lunch, having an audience while you pee and having to reheat your first cup of coffee 3 times before finally just giving up.

Give yourself a break, know that you aren't the only one that feels this way! I love going to another mom's house and seeing that it isn't immaculate, I feel more normal knowing we aren't the only ones with broken colors scattered all over! It makes me feel less insane when I see three baskets of clean laundry waiting to be folded in the living room and a sink full of last night's dishes waiting to be washed! 

When I get a text from a fellow mom that just says, "I give up, Calgon take me away!" I smile and nod because I feel that way at the end of most days but I wouldn't trade this life for anything. Love yourselves mamas, and know that you are not alone in this! Your kids won't remember the awful trips to Walmart or the sub par lunch of apples, cheese sticks and chips because you haven't had the courage to go grocery shopping yet, they remember the excitement of the bird flying around the house as you wave a broom toward the open front door, "Dad, today was AMAZING!!!". Hug your kids, tell them how amazing they are and how much you love them, that's what it's all about anyway.

The ghost hunters!

Has your child ever stolen something from another kid? Have you ever had to call another mom and explain that their child's favorite toy ended up in your child's pocket "by mistake" after a play date? Have you ever threatened to take away your child's favorite toy because they stole from somebody else? No? Just me?? Well, here is the story of my parenting low...

Yesterday one of my girlfriends had my daughters and I over for breakfast and a play date. She wanted to treat me to biscuits and chocolate gravy (HEAVEN!!!!) for my upcoming birthday. We had a good time chatting and refereeing our 4 kids. Zo (my almost 4 year old) was having an obeying problem and ended up in the corner once or twice while there but we got out mainly unscathed.

After we got home and had naps we were getting ready to meet my aunt for some Easter dress shopping when I noticed something in Zo's jacket pocket... I reached in and pulled out a tiny wind up ghost toy from our friend's house! After a chat with Z about honesty, she admitted that she had taken it from their house because "I didn't have one and I liked it." Great, looks like we are going to the library for a book on stealing!

I snapped a picture of the toy and sent my friend a text saying that we had their toy and that I was sorry my child is a thief. I started getting shoes on the girls and changing my clothes when she replied that it was one of her baby's favorite toys and to just stick it in my purse so I could give it to her Friday at my birthday shin dig. I went to the kitchen (where I had taken the picture) to grab it and toss it in my purse but, alas, it wasn't there... I JUST HAD IT 5 MINUTES AGO!? I turn to my 2 and 3 year olds and asked them who had taken it, neither would fess up.

I spent the next 15 minutes retracing my steps all over the house before, exasperated, I gave up and went to meet my aunt at the mall. The whole way to the mall I explain that when we get home they WILL find that toy or we would be giving away one of Z's favorite toys, her beloved beanie bear. She squawked and squealed all the way to the mall. I got there all flustered and chased two wild women all over Dillard's and half of the mall as they ran in separate directions for the next hour and a half.

I got home and showed my husband the picture of the ghost and set him the task of helping the kids find it while I fixed dinner. In between cooking taco meat and making the guacamole, I searched as well. Z looked here and there halfheartedly and announced that she had searched the whole house and it was gone so it must be back at her friend's house... Riiiiight. We put her in her sister's crib and I took beanie bear away. Chris pulled our bed away from the wall to see if it had fallen back there, nope but there was quite a bit of junk we won't speak of! I pulled the sofa across the living room to see if it was under or behind there... I found 5 shoes (only one pair), lots of missing toys, a pad for my steam mop and a (clean) cloth diaper, but no ghost.

At this point I was so mad we had lost this stupid little ghost that I was almost prepared to make Z go to bed without a chance to ignore her supper (because we all know she won't eat it anyway) when my husband asks something about wearing a jacket today, "yes!" I replied, "That was where I found it to begin with." He shook his head and said, "No, were YOU wearing a jacket?" Was I? I wore a sweater to the mall without a jacket because what I had on had a hole in the elbow that made me look like a hobo so I changed... WAIT!! I go to the bedroom and pick up my favorite tattered old Eddie Bauer jacket, that feels .2 oz heavier than normal, and there is that stinking, illusive ghost!

I went to the girls' room and extracted Z from sister's bed and show her the ghost. I explained that I had found it in my jacket pocket and that I was sorry for taking her beanie bear away. I took her to the table and gave her a taco that she scarfed down with a few blue corn chips. I sit there exhausted from frustration and wonder out loud if I have enough sunlight left for a quick run to clear my head... Hubs encourages it and I head for the door for a 1.4 mile jog/run to the park and back.

I got home and Z and I make peace once and for all when she offers to rub my sore legs to make them feel better. Then we cuddled and told each other over and over "I love you".

Have you ever had a "crazy mom moment"? 

Winter honey

I love the idea of finding wellness in God's creation. I use a lot of teas when I'm sick with sinus, allergy junk or when I have cold/flu symptoms. This fall I decided to take an extra step in my wellness with a honey blend of my own thinking.



I start with a fresh, clean canning jar and toss in about 10-15 whole cloves, 5 or 6 cinnamon sticks, and a lemon (quartered and sliced thin) and then fill the jar with local honey. I keep the jar in the door of my refrigerator and give it a good stir every few days.


When one of us has a tickle in our throats we either take a spoon full of it alone (delicious) or we add it to a cup of herbal tea.

Luxury from the kitchen!?

If you are anything like me, you probably suffer from dry skin in the winter. Sometimes my skin is so dry it actually hurts.
A few weeks ago I found an overripe avocado in my refrigerator, it was more mushy than I would have wanted to eat so I decided to make something fancy for my face! I ground up about a quarter cup of oats in my magic bullet, tossed 1/4 of the mushy avocado in with about a tsp of liquid coconut oil, a drop of vitamin E oil and about a tsp of milled flax.
I blended it all up and smeared it on my face...


I let it soak in for about 5 minutes and then rinsed and put my coconut oil moisturizer on. My face felt like butter!!

Drama and all it's nonsense

I hate drama and how it affects me and I am stepping up and saying "no more". I'm not interacting in silly fights on social media because honestly, it's fruitless anyway, nobody cares about what somebody else's opinion is these days. Especially if the opinion is from somebody with more conservative views. I'm tired of being called hateful, judgmental or a hypocrite when I disagree with somebody else's opinions. I am capable of disagreeing without hating or judging. 
So often, people assume that if you disagree you must hate. I don't know about you but I can disagree with you on something and still love you! I can't think of a single person that I agree with 100% of the time... not even my husband (and I'm madly in love with him). If I am friends with you, your view on vaccinations, marriage equality or the color red won't change that. I may disagree with your opinion but that won't mean I hate you!
So, why is it that people are always fighting on social media? Why has it become a place for everyone to passively aggressively (or just aggressively) attack one another? Why have we all become so loudly opinionated? I remember when I was growing up how our parents kept their views on things like politics to themselves. People back 20 or 30 years ago had enough respect for their friendships to not discuss things that could cause unnecessary problems. Trying to convince a long time republican that Bill Clinton was the best choice for president would probably cause more hardships in your friendship than it would swing their vote so why open that can of worms? 
My plea is that we all try a little harder to respect one another, not call names and try to remember that as firm in our views as we are, there are people just as firm in theirs. I'm not talking about not sharing the gospel, that is our duty as Christians, I'm talking about things like vaccinations, politics, parenting styles... Sure, you can say, "If your kids didn't get the flu shot, we may skip the play dates until the spring." You are making a parenting choice there. However,  saying, "I can't believe you didn't get the flu shot, you must like getting the flu." is just asking for a fight and is pretty disrespectful. 
I've been guilty of saying things in the heat of a debate that weren't kind, most of the time it was out of retaliation or defense of my own views being attacked, sometimes because I just wasn't thinking about how it was coming across. Either way, I'm walking away from it. 
Maybe we can all try a little harder to not post rants on social media that we know are going to cause hardships between some of our friends and maybe if a friend does post something we disagree with, we keep our own opinions to ourselves or speak to them privately about it.  After all, aren't our friends important to us?

To the person selling weight loss products:

Has anyone ever approached you out of the blue and tried to sell you on some new diet? What about your friends on facebook that are starting an at home business and they want you to try their new wonder drug? I know I have! Some aren't pushy, they share their own personal stories on their own facebook wall and leave it at that. Great, thank you for not pushing it on me! It's the ones that text, email, call or even the strangers that approach you on the street that get on my nerves. You may not realize it but singling someone out and basically saying, "Hey, you're fat and I want your money." is really bad business!

 I say all of this to tell you about an encounter at the park the other day... I was with my girls at the playground making mom smalltalk with another mom (I'd never seen this woman before in my life) when a man approached her and started talking about the company he was part of... it was a pyramid weight loss company and he told her it was the thing for her. HOW INSULTING! I stood there for a second while he talked and she politely nodded and told him she was using a different system under the watchful eye of a doctor but he kept pushing... That was when I finally stepped in and (much less politely) told him that we were not interested and to have a nice day. He finally left and I could tell it had upset my new friend.

I wanted to kick him in the shins for making this beautiful woman feel bad about herself! I was so mad you guys! Like we don't already have enough from hollywood airbrushing and all the ads in our faces on TV, in magazines and online telling us that we need to be a size 2 to be happy, now we have random people at the park trying to get us to buy into the latest pyramid scheme diet!? For real??? People that go into a business to try to help people lose weight (while making money) need to go through some people skills training first, approaching a person you've never met and telling them that your weight loss program is right for them isn't a good way to win friends and influence people! It IS a good way to get punched in the face though!

I get it, most Americans have a few extra pounds than are probably necessary. I know I would like to lose 20 pounds or so but I also know that I love Nutella and don't have a lot of time to get my flabby booty to the gym as often as I need to. We could all stand to live a healthier lifestyle but that doesn't give anyone the right to walk into a stranger's life for 5 minutes and tear them down in the hopes that you can make a few bucks!

We are all children of the KING (whether we accept him or not) and that makes us special. The size of our jeans, the color of our skin, hair or eyes, the brand of shades we wear or the number on the scale have little to do with the kind of people we are... it's the inside that counts!

I am about 5' 3" tall, I weigh 168 pounds (as of yesterday), I have brown hair and saggy, nursing mom boobs but I am a child of God! I am happy! I am SAVED by His grace! HE makes me worthy and HE loves me! I don't need the approval of random strangers (or even people I know).

So all you folks that sell stuff from home in a "multi level marketing" business, I'm happy you have found something you like, I really am! Those Thirty-One bags are cute, Mary Kay has some pretty nice makeup, I am glad Juice Plus works for you! Just work on your approach and PLEASE don't be pushy! If somebody says, "no thanks" you need to move on. And maybe don't approach me and my friends with a new weight loss potion because I might light your hair on fire with my jedi powers!